I'm sitting in my living room this morning feeling lost. Tina isn't feeling up to our regular morning video chat. We are hoping and praying that she doesn't have covid. She'll need to do another test to see. Last night when we chatted for a few minutes. She needed some ventilin to help her breath.
Saturday night, Tina wanted to show me something and so we had a video chat. She had found cheap tickets and was planning to come here. Of course, I was a little nervous but the more I thought about it the more excited I got. We were going to do whatever it took to get her here. I could already visualize her sitting on the back deck around our fire. I wanted to be able to take her for drives to see the mountains and just having this time with her would be so amazing. Carol was planning on coming too.
On Sunday, Tina sent this message: The more I think about this the more I think I’m being unrealistic. I’m exhausted after a couple hours. Someone has to dress me undress me feed me etc. I just don’t see it working.
My heart was heavy I knew too that it wasn't realistic but for just a few days I wanted to forget that Tina had ALS and that we could just have a sister time. I sent a message to ask if she was okay. The three of us ended up video chatting because SHE wanted to know if I was okay. We found out that Tina had fallen again. The door was locked when the homecare worker came and she had tried to unlock it for her. She fell. The homecare worker was outside and found her on the floor. She is now having a very difficult time getting up any steps. Their usual trip after church is to go to the Wilton Cheese Factory and pick up curd. (You really have to be from Ontario to know what a treat this is.) Tina couldn't get the curd up to her mouth. She had to feed her. It was like another switch to this horrible disease that had been clicked.
We have tried to keep to the facts of Tina's journey but today I want any reader to understand how it impacts her life. We have said over and over how strong our baby sister is and she has helped us so much.
Tina remembers a time when mom was looking after grandma. My mom's family had worked very hard and long to keep their mom out of a seniors home and so many of them took turns staying with her. The care became harder and the days were long but they continued until a home opened up after a number of years and they reluctantly moved her there. My grandma lived to be 100 years old and was an amazing lady.
The thing Tina remembers is that mom had said, "when I'm old and can't look after myself put me in an home so that I am not a burden to any of you." Mom has jumped in to help so much and in whatever way with Tina. Tina remembered what mom had said about being a burden and mentioned that memory to her. Mom, in tears said that she will do everything she can to help. No one expects the order of life to change like this but life doesn't seem fair at times. Now, this leaves Carol and I thousands of kilometers away, wishing we could do more....
Click on this link to go to the meal train for Tina
And so, once again, we want to say a huge thank you to those that have brought in meals, come for visits and are praying constantly. We so want a miracle. We need peace.
Truman stopped in to see Tina yesterday.
He brought a wonderful dessert that we are sure Lynne had a big part in it arriving at Tina's.
Truman and Lynne were long time friends of mom and dad. They were camping partners and a part of the aggravation nights. Aggravation is a game...they didn't get together just to aggravate each other; although if you were trying to sleep in the next room, it was quite aggravating.
We have a new blog follower and I believe the Angela C is probably Tina's long time friend. Thanks for taking this journey with us.
So today, we may feel a little down but we are STEELE Standing. We are standing with Tina.
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