Time Goes By

Tears still come when I think of Tina.  It was two years ago today when her fight with ALS ended.  At only 55, my baby sister took her last breath and life changed for us.

Now that we have retired and moved closer to where she lived, I wish that we could have more time.  Time to go to the beach, bake together or sit and share some memories.

Life is a mystery.  We have no guarantees for tomorrow.  I am thankful for the good times and try to live each day appreciating what I have.  Tears still come when I least expect it.  I wish Tina was here but time goes by….

Flying Home

I’ve been staring at this empty page for a while.  I know that there have been so many following Tina’s journey and looking for updates.  I have continued to do the posts because I promised Tina that I would.  I have many moments when the words that I put in print hit me…this is really happening to our sister.  It is in those moments that my emotions pour out in tears.  

Today Carol will be flying back home.  She has a long day of travel but right now she is at the hospital with Tina.  I know that my dear sister will be strong saying goodbye and then walk away in tears.  There is nothing easy about saying goodbye.  

Carol said that they were tying to brave
saying goodbye! 😢

Mom will replace her at the hospital when dad drives Carol to meet Jenn.  The trip will continue with Jenn dropping her off at the airport.  She won’t arrive home until after midnight her time.

Yesterday, Tina had a CT scan to make sure everything would be okay when they insert the feeding tube.  Dr. Robertson will be doing the procedure when it is deemed necessary.  He has assured her that the procedure will be different then what she experienced in Kingston.

Say a prayer today for Carol as she travels.

STEELE Standing?

Homeward Bound

On Friday the cottage was a little quieter.  Ron got up early and went for a canoe and a swim.  He had coffee ready for when Carol and I got up.  Sarah woke a little later.  We cleaned up and did the final pack and said goodbye to a good week.

We got back to Napanee and unpacked, did laundry and carol went to see Tina while Ron and I went to Kingston to return one of the car rentals.

After we got back, I went to Tina’s.  Phillip and Roxanne had given Tina some gift cards.

Emma was busy packing for a weekend kids camp at Roblin Wesleyan Camp.  Carol, Sarah and I were going to take Emma and Tina decided to join in for the ride.

Emma seemed like happy camper as she settled into her cabin.

Sarah spend the night with Aunt Tina.  This morning Ron went out for breakfast with Percy and I went to Trenton to have a coffee with Cheryl.  When we joined back at mom and dad’s, we had a quick lunch and said our sad goodbyes.  We went to pick up Sarah and spend a little time with Tina.  It was super hard to say goodbye to Tina.  

We are packed to the brim in the rental car heading back to Ottawa.  

We are Alberta Bound. Mike will pick Carol up at the airport and they will be off to B.C.  We will be back to video chatting across the country.

We are STEELE Standing!

Princess Tina and Her Subjects

Sunday morning arrived and although Tina wanted to go to church, we decided that we didn’t feel comfortable getting her out of the cottage.  Carol and I had walked around the cottage assessing the situation and the choices were 1) going out the front door and having to go down 3 cement steps.  We shuddered imagining the possibilities of accidents happening or 2) having her go from the sliding door, go down two steps and then being pushed around the cottage in a wheel chair over soft grass.  We didn’t know if our backs could handle that direction.  We decided it was best to stay in the cottage for the day.  

The forecast was calling for lots of rain but we managed to be out on the deck for a good part of the day.  

We had barbeque salmon, Mac and cheese and veggies for lunch.

I put bread crumbs on the Mac and cheese and it caused Tina some choking which made us scrape the crumbs off and try again.  It was a little scary.

In the afternoon, Ron showed up with Sarah and Emma and some food.  They all went for a swim and then Ron left because he thought that he was too outnumbered.

The waves calmed down and the girls went out to play in the peddle boat and it proofed to be a good entertainment for us watching from the deck.

She was really enjoying it, it just doesn’t 
show in this picture. 😉

Janelle came and was able to give Tina an afternoon bath and get her hair French braided.  Sarah lined up and got hers done too.  We sat out on the deck until the wind came up.  We were just trying to figure out all the sleeping arrangements when the phones sent out an alert

So our first full day at the cottage, we had no power.  Our second day, we have a tornado warning.  This week is proving to be quite the adventure.  Sarah, Emma and Carol were out trying to snap some pictures of the light show.

Picture by Emma

Picture by Sarah

The lightening continues to flash across the night skies.  The gentle breeze blows through the cottage windows.  We can hear the rain coming across the lake.  The Princess’ kingdom is getting ready for a storm. Her loyal subjects have been cautioned to use the washroom in case the storm knocks out the power.  She has instructed us that we will need to get water from the lake if the power goes out and we need to flush the toilet.  Life is quite exciting here at the cottage.  You never know what the next day will bring.

Princess Tina wishes you all a good night.  She is STEELE reigning in her little kingdom.  We are STEELE following her commands.  We, her loyal subjects need to get some sleep so we can address her needs tomorrow.  She actually calls us her minions.  We welcome anyone who wants to come and relieve us! 🤪

Ron’s in the Blog

Friday was a hard day for me sitting in Alberta knowing that Ron was at his mom’s funeral. Tina was able to make it even though the homecare worker didn't.  Casey spent the morning with Tina before the funeral.

Barb, a friend from our Sharbot Lake Church posted this picture on Facebook of Tina and Mom. (I see Howard in the background!)

Barb posted with this comment,
“Tina smiling as usual”

She also sent this picture of Ron visiting with Denis after the funeral.

Mom, Dad, and Tina  are 
in the background 

Another interesting bit of information for the STEELE clan.  Barb told Tina and mom that she used to do home visits with an ALS patient and it was Uncle Pete.

Today, I was able to watch the funeral.  Jenn did a great job talking about her grandma on behalf of the grandchildren.

Ron read some scripture and I was glad that I could hear him use his pastor voice again.

Look at this…Ron’s name and picture in the blog.

Ron has been able to stop in and visit Tina a couple of times and the one day he told Janelle, the homecare worker, that he wanted to have his name in the blog.  Janelle asked him what he did to deserve that?  They had a little banter back and forth.  Ron said that she seems like a really nice girl. It's good to know that there are so many good people surrounding Tina at this time. 

I’m sure that she will fill me in on more information come Monday.  

Carol sent me this message today because she knows that I’m a little lonely: 

                            10 days and I will be there and back with hubby in 11♥️  

*****

Cottage time is just around the corner now.

For anyone that would like to view the funeral service of Ron’s mom, Evangel Temple was kind enough to record it for the family members and friends that couldn't be there.  

This is the link to it on YouTube. Donna’s celebration of life

Thanks Janice C for this!

We are STEELE standing in different provinces.  We STEELE have lots of plans for the cottage and we STEELE a appreciate all of you.

And we have a new follower....L. Burgess (thanks for following along with Tina's journey)

Joined Together By Tears and Laughter

This week has been pretty different for me.  With Ron in Ontario, it's been a little quiet and I've been watching the grass grow and dreading the thought of cutting it.

On Tuesday, Judy was there for the day with Tina.  We had a little chat with both of them and took a little trip down memory lane.  We all agree that Judy is a sweetheart!  Judy, Tina and Austin went shopping at the Metro for groceries.  This is where Tina was working when she was diagnosed.  

Judy thought Carol was lazy until she realized that
she was 2 hours behind Ontario time. Boy, am I
ever glad that I was up and dressed!

Ron stopped in to see Tina.  Apparently, he wanted to get his name in the blog.  Tina said that he couldn't hide the surprise on his face when he saw her.  She tried to show him what she could move which wasn't much.  She was able to shrug her shoulders and worked hard to move her hand.

On Wednesday, Jenn was supposed to be there for the day but thankfully Thelma told Jenn that she could take the day.  Thelma, you are amazing!  This allowed Jenn to be Ron's chauffeur and help him with plans for the funeral.  There was no homecare available for the day.  This happens more than you would expect.  People or family members get sick and they must be short staffed enough not to be able to find a replacement.

It was a bit of an emotional day for me but Tina assured us that we will have lots of laughs at the cottage.

Thanks Janice C for this!

While we were doing our video chat, mom and dad came to the house.  Tina has her phone connected to their car so when they get close the phone drops over to their car.  At one point we were talking to Tina and then it would jump to talking to dad.  He drove away and we were back to Tina until he drove back and then we were on with dad again.  It was a bit confusing.

Thelma brought pizza for lunch and then had supper all planned - baked potatoes, chicken stuffed with ham and cheese and a ceaser salad.  Again, dad asked her if she brought tarts.  I think this group has a real serious tart addiction.

Carol was able to finalize the screening for their rental and has someone moving in.  That's a load off of her mind.  Carol also had James and Jenn over for dinner with Brenden and his girlfriend.  Brenden is Mike's son.  This was the first time that they had been in the same province and got to meet each other.  They were both familiar with the movie "Step Brothers" and a few lines from the movie were exchanged and they seem to be okay with being step brothers

Today it was a mom, dad and Emma day.  Dad was sitting with Tina while we chatted and mom was making muffins.  Emma opened Tina's new hand supports and then sent me a picture of her wearing them. 

Ray stopped in for a visit. It is always nice to see Ray's smile and catch up on what has been happening.

Tomorrow Casey is planning on spending the morning and then Tina is planning on going to my mother-in-law's funeral.

Donna Clark’s Obituary

Two weeks from today we will be spending the day in Ontario getting ready for the cottage.  There are lots of things to do before that but the time is getting closer.

We are STEELE standing, STEELE planning and STEELE working to get ready for Sister Cottage Time.

Thank you to all those that have helped this week.  We so appreciate you staying with Tina, visiting, bringing food or just dropping to say hi.  THANK YOU!

Tears are Words Too Painful for a Broken Heart 💔 to Speak

Sometimes it is just those days.  There are too many circumstances and thoughts to be able to process.  It’s those days that tears come easy and often.

Yesterday, Tina initiated our morning “Sister Three” chat.  It felt so good to be able to actually connect again.  Janelle had already been there for the one hour of home care.  Mom was busy around the house.  The Occupational Therapist arrived and cut our morning chat short but at least we were able to talk for a bit.

Tina is feeling better but still a little congested and coughs when she talks too much.  Her nerves are raw.  On nice days she just wants to get outside.  We take it for granted when we want to go for a walk.  Tina has to wait for someone to take her now.

This morning, Tina once again started the call.  It is so good to see her looking better. Thelma is spending the day with her today.  We are thankful for the many who have offered to help in any way.  Spending a day visiting is amazing.  

Tina shared with us some of the things that she has been feeling and said that she felt guilty about it because of everything that Carol has gone through.  We agreed that we all have a lot going on.  Life is hard but together we are STEELE Standing.

…..

For Carol…most of her family has left and the house is a little quieter.  They are all grieving and it’s hard.

Carol picked up her new puppy yesterday.  Brendan, Mike’s son, said “it’s the little friend of comfort that you need right now.”

Carol has been overwhelmed with the generosity of so many during this time.  Two of the young boys in the crowd, Cohen and Tyler, wondered how everyone was going to get fed.  At one time there were 26 people.  Food just kept coming in.  Blessings come from all directions and at just the right time.

…..

For me…Ron’s mom has been in and out of the hospital with pneumonia but sounded better today.  They may release her to go back home later today.

And our son had to say goodbye to his sweet dog yesterday.  Tanker was a wild dog running on a reserve in the Yukon when Stephen adopted him. He became the comfort dog for many.  He seemed to sense when people needed a dog hug and he could settle the other dogs down with one growl.

So, we all have a lot going on and I know that everyone does but we are better together and stronger when we can talk about it.  We are STEELE Standing.  We love that you are standing with us and we appreciate your prayers and words of comfort.  

Life is Too Short

On Tuesday, we had the "talk."  Tina wanted us to be aware of her wishes.  I'm sure many of you have had that necessary chat with loved ones but this was a first for me.  We are continuing to hope and pray that we won't have to come to that time for quite awhile.  

It is so hard to be sitting provinces away.  Carol and I both want to be closer to visit with Tina and help with her needs.  I can't tell you how many times I have gone to the WestJet page and looked up flights.

And then in the afternoon, Carol called with the saddest news ever.  Her precious 17 year old grandson had left this world way too soon.  Our hearts are broken.

It actually feels hard to breathe right now and it is so hard to even type this because it makes it more real.  This is not supposed to happen.  Jen, James and Carter had moved to the island 5 weeks ago.  These past five weeks were a time of reconnecting and Carol was so enjoying having these special moments.

December 15, 2004 - March 29, 2022

Carter, you are loved and missed!

James, Jen and Taylor….we love you! 

Our hearts are broken and somehow we are STEELE Standing but it’s hard.

Please pray for Carol.  A grandmother’s heart has been crushed.

Continue to pray for Tina.  She has not been feeling well all week and this news has been very hard.

Remembering those we love....Valuing those we have....Making memories along the way!

This week Tina's heart was broken.  Tina and Tamara were friends from when they were teenagers.  They later became connected through marriage.  They spent lots of times together when there children were young, finding many adventures along the way.  Through thick and thin, their friendship grew.  They had regular dinner nights.  Tamara worked at the hospital and was there when our dad needed stints after his heart attack.  She had a heart of gold and a personality that lit up any room that she entered.  A few years ago, she was diagnosed with cancer.  Tam fought hard but on Wednesday Tina lost one of her best friends.

Goodbyes are so hard

Wednesday - Pastor Herb came for a visit and Anthony came to spend the day.  Mom was also there doing her regular thing of laundry, cleaning and straightening.  Mom sat down to visit with us for a bit on our video chat.

Thursday - Once again, there was a different homecare worker.  It is so nice when it is the same person all of the time.  There are little things like a person knocking at the front door while Tina sits in her chair and not being able to unlock the door.  She ended up phoning the person and telling them to go to the other door.  Once the homecare worker finds her way in, she needs to have all the explanations of what is needed.  After 45 minutes, she is gone to her next client.  When Mel or Janelle arrive they know the routine and get so much more done.  Janelle will be back for Tuesday!

Later in the day, Percy arrived with a nice delivery.  Ron, my husband, joked when he saw the picture and said, "didn't he know that he is supposed to bring the meal cooked."  Actually, this is amazing.  There are so many meals here ready for those nights when you need that easy dinner.  Way to go, Percy!

On Friday, Tina got a call from Homecare and found out that the worker that came on Thursday tested positive for covid.  The workers that come now need to be fully gowned because Tina was exposed to covid.  We are hoping that she stays free of that.

Anthony came and spent the day.  Mom came over and made cookies and they are going fast.  Austin ordered Tina book and then did a puzzle.

Tina was able to get grocery shopping.  She enjoyed picking out things herself.  Independence is different these days but so important to keep.

She also got to a beautiful park in our hometown.  Spring Side is the place to see if you are in the area and it was good for Tina to be able to enjoy the rushing falls.

It was a full day and for supper Austin made Tina his speciality....strawberry, banana smoothie with yoghurt.  They are nutritious and delicious.  

Carol mentioned this week that she is "trying to be as strong as Tina."  Carol's daughter-in-law, Jen told us that if we need to cry, just cry.  We are learning so much about ALS and learning how strong Tina is.  We want to be there for her through this journey so we continue with our morning chats.  We sometimes laugh, sometimes cry and sometimes are just quiet (not too often).  One of the blessings in disguise is that we do have these times.  No matter how much our day might fill up, we like to start with the "Sister Three" chat time.

ALS Fact Sheet

Remembering those we love....Valuing those we have....Making memories along the way!

We are STEELE Standing.

We have 15 actual followers...welcome Carol (sister), Jen B (niece) and Jenn D (niece/daughter of mine).  We have a lot more readers.  Thanks for following Tina's journey.