Friday, September 30, 2022

It's .... A Go!

Tina has been doing a little better being in the hospital.  She doesn't have to worry about the shifts being filled which means that her anxiety hasn't been as bad.  She still likes to have someone in her room with her.  She is waiting for the transfer to Kingston to have the feeding tube inserted.  It may happen next week.  The delay has meant that the party is on for tomorrow.  Jenn said that she seems excited about it and has been giving some orders on what is needed.

I hadn't talked to her in awhile and just needed to hear her voice.  I called her cell and mom answered and held the phone for her to talk.  We didn't talk long because she was just having her lunch but it was good to just hear her for a moment.

Jenn just texted and said that the "church gym is decorated, food is ready, lazy boy in place and cakes ready for pick up."



Tina will be ready to receive anyone that can make it at 1:00 p.m.

Thursday, September 29, 2022

Happy 55!

Today is Tina’s 55th birthday.

Who is Tina? She started off by being mom and dad’s baby of the family and our little sister. She came into the world to meet A LOT of cousins! She was the youngest on the STEELE side.

She became an aunt and a mother in the years to come and a friend to many.


Tina is so much more than ALS. Today, we celebrate her.



If you are able, please join in the celebrations this Saturday!
When: Saturday October 01 
Time: 1-4pm
Where: Roblin Wesleyan Church
Hwy 41, Roblin, Ontario 

Cake and snacks will be provided! 

She is STEELE standing…we love you!! 💕 

Tuesday, September 27, 2022

The Queen is Back on her Thrown

Tina is still in the Napanee hospital awaiting her transfer to the Kingston hospital.  She had a bit of a panic attack through the night.  Mom went in the morning and then Jenn came later to let mom go home.

Jenn did a three way call with Carol and I to give us the update.  Once she is transferred to Kingston (maybe tomorrow), she will have the feeding tube inserted surgically, and then when she is able, she will be sent back to the Napanee hospital.

Jenn said that she was in good spirits and ate some chicken pot pie and a muffin through the day.  She will be getting ensure to supplement calories until she can get nourishment through the feeding tube.

The Queen seems to be back on her throne as she is starting to give orders about the birthday gathering on Saturday.  The hospital has okayed her leaving for a few hours to enjoy the celebrations.  If you are able to join in on this day, Tina will be thrilled to see you.

When: Saturday October 01 
Time: 1-4pm
Where: Roblin Wesleyan Church

(Her actual 55th birthday is the 29th)

Cake and snacks will be provided! 


******
Carol is counting down the days when she can be with Tina and the family.  I hope the fall colours are brilliant this year for her time in Ontario.

We are on our second last day with Stephen and Kylie.  This visit has been just what I needed.
You can’t let the rain storms of life constantly beat you down.  Sometimes, you just need to put the raincoat on and enjoy life.  Sometimes it will start to rain harder and sometimes you just might see the rainbow or maybe just a beautiful place to be.

We are STEELE standing…one day at a time, one hour and sometimes by one minute.  As Casey posted on my Facebook page, “ Happy Birthday Penny! May you live all the days of your life! 😉”  I’m trying to get back to that…to truly make the most of every day.  We don’t know what tomorrow will bring.  We have found that out!!

Sunday, September 25, 2022

She’s Got Her Smile Back!

Tina was admitted to the Napanee hospital yesterday.  


It was so good to see her smile and laugh.  Jenn said that she had been joking on Friday when they were given the instructions on the lift.  When they had her up in the lift, she asked if someone could push her so she could swing.

After so many weeks of Tina feeling down and discouraged, we are so thankful to hear that her she is feeling a little better emotionally and it was great to see her dimples in the picture.

So we are very thankful that Tina STEELE has her smile and sense of humour.  We are STEELE standing.  We are grateful for the updates especially when they include a smiling Tina.

Saturday, September 24, 2022

Another Update in Tina’s Journey

Tina has been feeling a little better emotionally.  Mom said that she has been eating a bit better. On Thursday, she had the catheter installed.

She will be admitted to the Napanee hospital this weekend and then transported by ambulance to Kingston on Monday.  She will have a feeding tube put in while at the Kingston General.  Mom thought she would stay there one night before being sent home.

Mom questioned why she needed the feeding tube when she is eating a little better.  The answer was that she needs to get it done now when it is not totally necessary in order to have it when she will need it.  She continues to have IV to keep her hydrated.

It was hard for mom when Tina told her that they were applying for a long term facility.  For all of us, it is so difficult to think about.  We understand that it is necessary but it is hard to grasp that this is where we are.


Jenn felt it necessary to tell Tina about the birthday plans. Surprises aren’t the best for her.  They are all hoping that she will feel like this gathering.  I would recommend coming earlier as she might tire out by 4:00.

When: Saturday October 01 

Time: 1-4pm

Where: Roblin Wesleyan Church

(Her actual birthday is the 29th)

Cake and snacks will be provided! 

********************

Carol will be travelling to Ontario in 16 days.

Today is my birthday and I am celebrating in Kitimat, BC with Stephen and Kylie. It’s just what I needed right now.


********************

ALS continues to take more and more away from Tina.  It is stealing Tina’s dreams for her future.  It is a cruel and brutal disease.  We continue to get and give updates.  It’s hard to hear and heartbreaking to know that this is happening to Tina.

Once again, we thank you for STEELE a standing with us and supporting Tina.  We appreciate everything you do!


Tuesday, September 20, 2022

Broken Heart to Broken Heart

  Jenn iscurrently working on the application process to a long term facility.  It's been a hard month.  It's actually "been brutal."  Every time Tina has a back spasm, she wonders what else in her body is shutting down. 

Tina knows that things can't continue the way that they have been going.  There have been great people that have been helping but there is never enough.  There needs to be at least two people to help with Tina now.  They continue to struggle with PSW's not showing up.  This causes a lot of anxiety to her when the scheduled shifts of homecare workers don't arrive when they are supposed to be there.

Tina came to the conclusion that they need to apply to a long term facility.  They were trying to prepare themselves for this decision since the day that she was diagnosed.  They had expected it to come much later than this.  

Tina doesn't want to be read to or to watch tv.  She barely feels like talking.  Her days are filled with sleeping or sitting quietly with her eyes closed.  Her attention span is very short and so is her tolerance for most things.  

Tina started new meds and it is the hope that these will give her back a little spark and take away some of the anxiety that has caused her to be so nauseous.  Today was the first day in two weeks that she hasn't had a panic attack.

The occupational therapist was advised with how quickly things were progressing.  She was shocked at the speed that the ALS was moving.

The nurse has ordered the catheter and that is the next step for Tina.  She continues to need IV daily to keep her hydrated.  A feeding tube has been discussed with Tina for the future.

So here we are...Tina has picked their top four choices for the Long Care Facilities.  They can pick up to 5.  In order for the process to be expediated, they need input from the professionals that are aware of Tina's fast moving condition. Tina's nurse and family doctor understand the urgency for a care facility.  They need input from the neurologist.  He hasn't been returning their calls.  Tina was told that this was the slow moving ALS.  In less than 8 months from diagnosis, she has lost all of her mobility and this disease has taken over so much.

Once the application is completed and the choices are submitted, they will need to accept the first opening.  If it isn't their first choice, Tina can be moved to that facility when space is available.  (This is so hard for me to type...how can I be talking about my sister needing this type of care?....our hearts are broken.)

This post has taken so long to type....how do I tell you all we have gotten to this stage?  We know that this step is necessary for Tina's care and important for all the caregivers that haven given so much love, time and attention to Tina.

Please pray that the right care facility opens for Tina.  We need a smooth transition.  Please pray for Tina as this will be a hard move for her.  Pray for the boys....this isn't what they wanted.  Pray for Mom and Dad...no one ever wants to see their daughter go through this.  Please remember Carol and I in your prayers...this is so hard.  Pray for Jenn and especially Emma who has been there for Aunt Tina.


We are STEELE here....leaning on you and each other.... 

Friday, September 16, 2022

Another Hard Day

Mom had gone to Tina’s last night to check on her.  Tina wasn’t even talking.  She had thrown up a couple of times and was on IV.  I shutter when I think of Tina being sick.  How does a person do that without choking when they have no control over their body.

This morning, Carol was able to talk to mom and Tina for a few minutes.  Homecare had been there and Tina had been bathed and then they did exercises.  Mom was able to get Tina to eat a muffin and some instant breakfast.  She doesn’t need IV today.  She was feeling a little better but looked pretty tired so the conversation was short.

Our hearts are heavy but we hold onto any positives.  She ate.  Carol was able to have a short virtual visit. She was able to have a bath and get her exercises done.

We are STEELE Standing…

Casey just sent me this message and I wanted to share it here:

Good morning 😊 saw Tina yesterday. You've probably heard, but in case you didn't she had a rough night up till 3:00 in the morning puking. I think from a McDonald's chocolate milkshake that she was craving at bedtime 😄

I was trying to be there for 8:00 so your mom could have the day off and I could help get her up with the PSW, but apparently she had been texting me to come a little earlier but I didn't have my phone on, she really needed to pee! But I did get there in time 😀

Had to take the morning really slow because of a gag reflex and still feeling nauseous from throwing up. So no morning routine but did manage to eat half of one of your mom's chocolate chip muffins and some chocolate milk. Her eyes were quite puffy and runny, which she says is pretty common in the morning. She was feeling bad that she was poor company for the PSW and I (shaking my head) she also had a headache 😟

I stayed until around 10:00 when her friend Kate arrived, we toileted her and she seemed to be in better mood by then. 

We shared a few memories,  one of which was a party in your parents basement and someone, can't remember who- Brad maybe? Asked Dennis C for a Pop Shoppe - Dennis asked what flavor? And "surprise me" was the answer, he was gone for like 15 minutes and came back saying he couldn't find that flavor 😄

Praying for her healing 🥰

Thanks Casey for sharing and for being there for Tina! ❤️

Thursday, September 15, 2022

Not Much To Say

I don’t have much to update.  Tina doesn’t feel like talking most days.

Carol had to postpone her trip to Ontario due to getting Covid and we all know that we need to keep Tina from that. Carol is feeling better but had a couple of days of feeling under the weather.  

Carol has rebooked and called to tell Tina but was told that Tina was under the weather and couldn’t take the call.

We hope that when she finds out that Carol is coming it will give her a little spark.

Jenn has asked me to share this top secret news…I’m told that she doesn’t follow the blog so hopefully we can keep this secret.

SURPRISE! Birthday Drop in for Aunt Tina! 

When: Saturday October 01 
Time: 1-4pm
Where: Roblin Wesleyan Church

Please help us in celebrating aunt Tina’s birthday! (Her actual 55th birthday is the 29th)

Cake and snacks will be provided! 

We look forward to seeing you there!

If you are able to come and say hi, please do.

Saturday, September 10, 2022

Emma’s Birthday

Emma had her first few days of school and then came back to Aunt Tina’s for the weekend.  She wanted Nana and Papa to take her to Denny’s and I think she really missed being with Tina.


Emma is celebrating her 11th birthday today.  She’s an old soul that has a lot of energy.
Happy Birthday Emma!  We love you!! 💕 

My daily information on how Tina is really doing has kind of dried up with Emma not giving us a report.  Mom fills me in when I am talking to her.

We really miss our daily video chats.  I think we needed them even more than Tina did.  If you drop in to see Tina, please send me a message on how you see things.  Tina asked me to document her journey.  It hasn’t been easy to type the truth but I want to do everything I can to follow her wishes.

I don’t know how any of us could get through this without you all standing with us.  We really appreciate those that have helped and are helping Tina.  Words cannot truly say how much the army of helpers is appreciated.

We are STEELE a standing because of you!

Tuesday, September 6, 2022

This and That…Life is Hard

I was talking to mom yesterday for a little while...okay, over an hour and she gave me some updates.

This week's schedule for Tina changed a little bit.  

Tina had:

  • respite on Monday
  • Mom and Anthony are doing the Tuesday duty
  • Mom and Anthony on Wednesday
  • Judy was bumped from her regular Tuesday to Thursday because mom had an appointment
  • Friday is Jenn and Thelma
  • Plus all her regular PSW’s, daily nurse visit, etc.
(I think I have that right?)

 Google was moved to the back room so that Tina can call mom if she needs her before someone arrives.

Mom said, that last week, her and dad took Tina up to the hospital with Austin's car.  Tina needed to get a PICC inserted.  This is so that the nurses don't have to be looking for veins especially when she is dehydrated.  They can give her medication or IV with no more pricking and prodding.  When they were finished, they got Tina back in the car and it wouldn't start.  Mom had Tina's cell phone but didn't know how to make a call.  Tina's doctor had spotted her at the hospital and came out to see her.  The phone was handed to Dr. Liz and she made a phone call.  Dr. Liz is an amazing doctor who has been there for Tina with even making house calls! 

I did pretty well through the conversation until mom said that she was thankful for all the prayers because she never wanted to be around to lose one of her girls.  


She said that she knows it's the prayers of so many people that help her get up in the morning and look after her house and take care of Tina.

Mom said that she is so thankful for Anthony too because he is there to do the heavy lifting while she provides the care.

I can’t imagine what Tina is going through.  My heart hurts thinking about how each day she loses a little more of her mobility.  

What I do know is how I feel…and I hate this disease.  I hate what it is doing to my sister.  I wish that we could go back in time and make it an annual cottage time for the Sister Three.  I am thankful for the times that Tina was able to join us when we rented the Hollywood cottage.  They were good times.

Life just doesn’t make sense right now but we are STEELE standing even when we feel like screaming, throwing or punching something! 

*****
Carol is currently in Edmonton helping Xarra get her nest ready for the baby.  She is going to wrack up those westjet points with flying to help her daughter and then at the end of the month to be with Tina.

Ron and I went for a morning hike today.  We had a reprieve from the steaming hot and smoke filled air.  Breathing hard is good for the emotions and I needed that today.
Life is about one step at a time…sometimes it’s all down hill and easy stepping and sometimes, like now, it’s climbing that mountain.  Every step seems hard but it’s the path that we have right now and so we are STEELE Standing.

Saturday, September 3, 2022

Emma is Off Duty

 

For two months, and every school holiday before that, Emma has been Tina’s side kick, receptionist, care giver and companion.  She knew how to take care of Aunt Tina and could explain any procedure to any one that was helping.  She was quick to recognize when Tina needed a drink or able to call for help if needed. She has surprised many with her ability to help in whatever way that was needed.

Emma has won the hearts of many and I know that she will be missed by the many volunteers and workers that pass through Tina’s home.  She will be extremely missed by Tina.

It was time, even though hard, for her to go back home and get ready for school. 


Emma, you have been an amazing help.  We all love you!  We know, that even though you aren’t at Aunt Tina’s side right now, that you are STEELE a standing with her.

Carol will be with Tina in 21 days…

Two Years

Two years ago we got the horrible news that Tina was diagnosed with ALS.  Two years ago our lives changed. Ron and I are getting very close ...