Life is Too Short

On Tuesday, we had the "talk."  Tina wanted us to be aware of her wishes.  I'm sure many of you have had that necessary chat with loved ones but this was a first for me.  We are continuing to hope and pray that we won't have to come to that time for quite awhile.  

It is so hard to be sitting provinces away.  Carol and I both want to be closer to visit with Tina and help with her needs.  I can't tell you how many times I have gone to the WestJet page and looked up flights.

And then in the afternoon, Carol called with the saddest news ever.  Her precious 17 year old grandson had left this world way too soon.  Our hearts are broken.

It actually feels hard to breathe right now and it is so hard to even type this because it makes it more real.  This is not supposed to happen.  Jen, James and Carter had moved to the island 5 weeks ago.  These past five weeks were a time of reconnecting and Carol was so enjoying having these special moments.

December 15, 2004 - March 29, 2022

Carter, you are loved and missed!

James, Jen and Taylor….we love you! 

Our hearts are broken and somehow we are STEELE Standing but it’s hard.

Please pray for Carol.  A grandmother’s heart has been crushed.

Continue to pray for Tina.  She has not been feeling well all week and this news has been very hard.

Unrealistic but STEELE Standing

I'm sitting in my living room this morning feeling lost.  Tina isn't feeling up to our regular morning video chat.  We are hoping and praying that she doesn't have covid.  She'll need to do another test to see.  Last night when we chatted for a few minutes.  She needed some ventilin to help her breath.

Saturday night, Tina wanted to show me something and so we had a video chat.  She had found cheap tickets and was planning to come here.  Of course, I was a little nervous but the more I thought about it the more excited I got.  We were going to do whatever it took to get her here.  I could already visualize her sitting on the back deck around our fire.  I wanted to be able to take her for drives to see the mountains and just having this time with her would be so amazing.  Carol was planning on coming too.  

On Sunday, Tina sent this message:  The more I think about this the more I think I’m being unrealistic. I’m exhausted after a couple hours. Someone has to dress me undress me feed me etc. I just don’t see it working.

My heart was heavy  I knew too that it wasn't realistic but for just a few days I wanted to forget that Tina had ALS and that we could just have a sister time.  I sent a message to ask if she was okay.  The three of us ended up video chatting because SHE wanted to know if I was okay.  We found out that Tina had fallen again.  The door was locked when the homecare worker came and she had tried to unlock it for her.  She fell.  The homecare worker was outside and found her on the floor.  She is now having a very difficult time getting up any steps.  Their usual trip after church is to go to the Wilton Cheese Factory and pick up curd. (You really have to be from Ontario to know what a treat this is.)  Tina couldn't get the curd up to her mouth.  She had to feed her.  It was like another switch to this horrible disease that had been clicked.

We have tried to keep to the facts of Tina's journey but today I want any reader to understand how it impacts her life.  We have said over and over how strong our baby sister is and she has helped us so much.

Tina remembers a time when mom was looking after grandma.  My mom's family had worked very hard and long to keep their mom out of a seniors home and so many of them took turns staying with her.  The care became harder and the days were long but they continued until a home opened up after a number of years and they reluctantly moved her there.  My grandma lived to be 100 years old and was an amazing lady.  

The thing Tina remembers is that mom had said, "when I'm old and can't look after myself put me in an home so that I am not a burden to any of you."  Mom has jumped in to help so much and in whatever way with Tina.  Tina remembered what mom had said about being a burden and  mentioned that memory to her.  Mom, in tears said that she will do everything she can to help. No one expects the order of life to change like this but life doesn't seem fair at times.  Now, this leaves Carol and I thousands of kilometers away, wishing we could do more....

Click on this link to go to the meal train for Tina 

And so, once again, we want to say a huge thank you to those that have brought in meals, come for visits and are praying constantly.  We so want a miracle.  We need peace.

Truman stopped in to see Tina yesterday.  

He brought a wonderful dessert that we are sure Lynne had a big part in it arriving at Tina's.  

Truman and Lynne were long time friends of mom and dad.  They were camping partners and a part of the aggravation nights.  Aggravation is a game...they didn't get together just to aggravate each other; although if you were trying to sleep in the next room, it was quite aggravating.

We have a new blog follower and I believe the Angela C is probably Tina's long time friend.  Thanks for taking this journey with us.

So today, we may feel a little down but we are STEELE Standing.  We are standing with Tina.

Remembering those we love....Valuing those we have....Making memories along the way!

This week Tina's heart was broken.  Tina and Tamara were friends from when they were teenagers.  They later became connected through marriage.  They spent lots of times together when there children were young, finding many adventures along the way.  Through thick and thin, their friendship grew.  They had regular dinner nights.  Tamara worked at the hospital and was there when our dad needed stints after his heart attack.  She had a heart of gold and a personality that lit up any room that she entered.  A few years ago, she was diagnosed with cancer.  Tam fought hard but on Wednesday Tina lost one of her best friends.

Goodbyes are so hard

Wednesday - Pastor Herb came for a visit and Anthony came to spend the day.  Mom was also there doing her regular thing of laundry, cleaning and straightening.  Mom sat down to visit with us for a bit on our video chat.

Thursday - Once again, there was a different homecare worker.  It is so nice when it is the same person all of the time.  There are little things like a person knocking at the front door while Tina sits in her chair and not being able to unlock the door.  She ended up phoning the person and telling them to go to the other door.  Once the homecare worker finds her way in, she needs to have all the explanations of what is needed.  After 45 minutes, she is gone to her next client.  When Mel or Janelle arrive they know the routine and get so much more done.  Janelle will be back for Tuesday!

Later in the day, Percy arrived with a nice delivery.  Ron, my husband, joked when he saw the picture and said, "didn't he know that he is supposed to bring the meal cooked."  Actually, this is amazing.  There are so many meals here ready for those nights when you need that easy dinner.  Way to go, Percy!

On Friday, Tina got a call from Homecare and found out that the worker that came on Thursday tested positive for covid.  The workers that come now need to be fully gowned because Tina was exposed to covid.  We are hoping that she stays free of that.

Anthony came and spent the day.  Mom came over and made cookies and they are going fast.  Austin ordered Tina book and then did a puzzle.

Tina was able to get grocery shopping.  She enjoyed picking out things herself.  Independence is different these days but so important to keep.

She also got to a beautiful park in our hometown.  Spring Side is the place to see if you are in the area and it was good for Tina to be able to enjoy the rushing falls.

It was a full day and for supper Austin made Tina his speciality....strawberry, banana smoothie with yoghurt.  They are nutritious and delicious.  

Carol mentioned this week that she is "trying to be as strong as Tina."  Carol's daughter-in-law, Jen told us that if we need to cry, just cry.  We are learning so much about ALS and learning how strong Tina is.  We want to be there for her through this journey so we continue with our morning chats.  We sometimes laugh, sometimes cry and sometimes are just quiet (not too often).  One of the blessings in disguise is that we do have these times.  No matter how much our day might fill up, we like to start with the "Sister Three" chat time.

ALS Fact Sheet

Remembering those we love....Valuing those we have....Making memories along the way!

We are STEELE Standing.

We have 15 actual followers...welcome Carol (sister), Jen B (niece) and Jenn D (niece/daughter of mine).  We have a lot more readers.  Thanks for following Tina's journey.

So Much…So Many

Our last post was only five days away but it seems likes SO MUCH happens so fast.  

There are SO MANY generous people that have blessed Tina with meals and treats.

Last week, Casey (childhood friend) told Tina that she had some leftovers from a meal and wanted to share.  I can’t remember exactly what it was called but it was baked and had feta in it.  Sounds good to me!

On Friday, Barry and Judy (cousin and cousin-in-law) came with a lasagna supper and stayed for the evening.  It’s pretty special when someone brings a meal, stays for a visit and leaves the kitchen clean.

Saturday, Todd (one of those STEELE Standing guys) showed up with a chicken and spinach lasagna along with a delectable rhubarb apple crisp.  We are thinking he got a little help with his cooking.

AKA...Todd, the Terrible Turd 
(nickname given by his dad many years ago!)

Monday, Melissa and Paul (church connections) dropped off still warm chocolate chip cookies and a pineapple dessert.

Today, Percy brought in chilli for supper.  Jenn (My daughter) was there all day visiting, making SO MANY phone calls, doing Tina’s nails and other odd jobs.  They were even able to get out for a walk.

I'm STEELE Standing!💗

Also through these 5 days, dad took some of Tina’s cranberries from her freezer that they had picked in a previous year.  He turned the berries into cranberry juice.  He was even around for one of our video chats.

Talking about the Leaf's!

Homemade cranberry juice

Mom shows up regularly and usually has something in hand or she may stay to bake another batch of muffins.  She also does laundry, cleans and anything else to keep her busy.

Anthony (Tina’s son) has spent a few days around the house keeping Tina company.

Austin (Tina’s youngest son) has been holding down the fort and making sure that his mom has what she needs in front of her and the cat stays away from what’s in front of her.

John (a friend of Anthony’s) stopped in and he is designing a wheelchair ramp and has offered to pay for the building permit.

There has been SO MUCH generosity. 

……

And now let’s take a break from the generosity news to the medical news and there is SO MUCH of that too.

Kingston General Hospital called and Tina is booked for a second MRI on April 4th.  Our eyes were opened to even the little struggles that Tina has on a day to day basis.  We were on a video chat when she got the call for the appointment. Answering the phone before someone hangs up is hard when your mobility is limited.  The person on the other end of the phone has details that are important for the appointment but Tina can’t write them down.  I took the information and then Tina “hey, googled it.”

Tina has been itchy for the past week and has had to take Benadryl.  This is a probable side affect from the meds that she is on.

The nurse called today and she will be dropping off monitoring supplies.

Kathleen, the Occupational Therapist, called and said that she would be ordering a wedge for the bed and a lift chair.  The wheel chair just arrived while I was doing this blog and Tina looked like she had just been released from captivity.  SO MUCH stuff!

;

Tina has been in good spirits most of the time; although she was a little teary today while she was telling a story.  Emma (my granddaughter), went out “canning.”  Canning is something that Tina use to do actively but now watches from the car.  They drive somewhere and clean the ditches and then turn in the cans for money.  Emma has done this with Tina and when she went home she decided to do it on her road.  When Emma was asked what she was going to do with the money, she said, “it’s going to Aunt Tina.”  I teased Tina about crying over garbage.

So as you can see, this post is about SO MANY wonderful and kind people and SO MUCH news of Tina’s journey.  

It really is SO MUCH to take in but we are STEELE STANDING!

And for other news…

Carol has adopted a new little puppy and he will come home to live with them in about 18 days …but who’s counting?

Meet Augie Doggie

I found a little reminder of Ontario and just had to buy it. 

STEELE STANDING…still smiling, most of the time.

"May the Sunshine of Comfort Shine Through the Gloom of Despair" - Irish Proverb

This week has held its fair share of despair.  Since it is St. Patrick's Day, I thought I would use a few Irish proverbs in this blog.

Early in the week, Tina got a call from Dr. Melanson's office.  She was told that she doesn't qualify to have the Radicava treatment.  Her forced vital capacity was too low.  She needed 80.

Our responses were wanting to scream, cry and yell, "It's not fair."  This time I will use Tina's proverbs.  Her response was, "all things work together..." and "everything will be okay."

Carol's long time side kick passed away this week.  Sadie was a sweet girl who lived 13 happy years.  She was a faithful pup who liked to follow Carol around her huge garden or spend time at the ocean shore. 

"However long the day, the evening will come."

May God give you, for every storm, a rainbow,

For every tear, a smile,

For every care, a promise,

And a blessing in each trial.

For every problem life sends, A faithful friend to share,

For every sign, a sweet song,

And an answer for each prayer.

The weather is getting nicer and so our spirits should get lighter.  Tina was able to sit out by "her fire" this week and today she didn't even need a fire because it was so beautiful in Ontario.

                      May you always have 

Walls for the winds,

A roof for the rain, 

Tea beside the fire,

Laughter to cheer you, 

Those you love near you,

And all your heart might desire!

The occupational therapist was able to order a transport wheel chair for Tina.  This chair has little wheels in the back instead of large ones.  This wheel chair is much lighter than the regular ones so with the weather getting nicer, Tina will be able to get out more with it.

Emma, my granddaughter, has been with Tina all week and has been jumping in on our video chats in the morning. She has been trying to help with lots of little things and has helped Nana with some baking (and eating!)

In our video chats, we share, we cry, we tell our frustrations and our happy times.  One of the great things is to be able to see some family that we wouldn't normally be able to.  This week we were able to have four generations in the chat.

This picture is priceless to me...Carol's oldest son, James with me at the top right and at the bottom, Mom with my granddaughter, Emma. Here we are in 3 different provinces, 4 generations using technology to have a mini family reunion.  

In all the world you will never find another race of people 

blessed with as much love, laughter and

pride as the Irish.

We are a race that loves deeply,

our family, our friends and our country.

We have always found humour in every situation,

it is what kept our spirits strong.

Our pride is beyond measure, in our race,

in our homeland and in our roots.

WE ARE THE IRISH.

This week Pastor Herb dropped in to visit Tina.  He wanted to know what the church could do to help.  Tina shared this blog link with him and mentioned the meal train link:  

 Click here to go to the Meal Train

The men are willing to help in whatever way that is needed.  Our army keeps growing....or is it that our family is.

Irish Family Blessing

May love and laughter light your days and warm your heart and home.

May Good and faithful friends be yours, wherever you may roam. 

May peace and plenty bless your world with joy that long endures.

May all life's passing seasons bring the best to you and yours!

We have 3 new followers for this blog.  Thanks Scott (old friend) and Brenda (who knows too well about ALS) and 345cipa?  I'm not sure who the last follower is but I like the red light profile.  We would like to use that light to put a stop to this ALS.

Our Irish blood is strong and today we ARE STEELE Standing!

Thanks for standing with us!

And a happy birthday to our own family leprechaun....Tina's oldest boy!

Happy 33rd Birthday Anthony!

Too Fast...Too Slow

 

When Tina asked me to document her journey, I cried.  Anyone that knows me, knows that that isn't surprising.  I told her that I would try and keep it to the facts and throw in some humour along the way. Today, is the day for facts.

Did you know that approximately 3,000 people are  diagnosed with ALS in Canada each year?  Each year 1,000 people die from ALS, just in Canada.

What's too fast?

• ALS!  
• Last March Tina was able to work and do pretty much whatever she wanted.  This March she can hardly get out of chair by herself.
• In December, she could shower and wash her hair by herself and now she needs help with both.
• Two weeks ago her hands were not bad and now she can't straighten her fingers out.
• Even Mel, the Home Care has noticed how quickly things are changing.
• It's progressing too fast and we want it to STOP!

So what's too slow?

• approval of new medications for ALS.  This is copied from Leanne Yacyshyn who is suffering from ALS, " before being diagnosed with #ALS I never would have believed that for a disease so horrible, no effective treatments would be available."https://leanneislivingwithals.com/why-a-blog/
• getting in for appointments and hearing about when new medication can be started.

What else is too slow?  Alexa, how long?  130 days to Sister Three Cottage Time!  Alexa always adds, "it's going to be a good time."

Once again, we want to say thank you to those that have continued to shower Tina with blessings.  Nancy, a long time church friend, dropped off some squares last week with all the right ingredients to make them delicious.  Melissa, a friend of Tina's showed up on the weekend with another meal.  You have no idea how much these meals and treats are appreciated. They have also had to start a new row for hanging all the beautiful cards that they had received.

With only one hour of homecare a day, visits, calls and meals will be so appreciated.

Meal Train for Tina

We have 3 more followers on Tina's journey: Jane (Janie), a long time family friend and Kathie and Tammy who know all about STEELE Standing!  

Homework for the day:  enjoy every moment!  We don't know what tomorrow will bring but we have right now.

My dishwasher stopped working a couple of weeks ago.  I jokingly said to Tina, "you think you have problems, I have to wash dishes by hand."  We laughed and she told me that I needed to put this in the blog.  I hate doing dishes but I would willingly wash dishes for the rest of my life if Tina didn't have ALS anymore.  If only it was that easy.  

We are STEELE standing and it's time for me to go and wash my dishes.

Breath In, Breath Out

On Friday, Tina went to Kingston to have the pulmonary test done.  This was to get the baseline for Tina's breathing. 

Forced Vital Capacity (FVC) is the primary test used to evaluate the breathing of ALS patients. It measures how quickly you can expel air from your lungs. ​The Maximum Inspiratory Pressure (MIP) test measures the strength of your inhale through your mouth. - from:  ALS CANADA

Tina's nose was plugged in order to see how her breathing was through the mouth from her lungs.

The results will need to be reviewed and then Tina will be sent to another specialist to monitor her breathing.  The unofficial report is that Tina's breathing is very good!

On the way home from Kingston they had another little passenger.  Emma is going to spend March break with great Aunt Tina to try and help ....or at least help to eat the food.

Tina was able to pick up her new reading glasses this week and she was approved for her disability tax credit and disability payments.

Breath in, breath out.  We do this automatically and don't give it too much thought until you have a health scare.  There are times that Carol and I need to do some breathing in and out as we walk this journey with Tina.  This week, Carol needed to do some therapy.

And I needed to pound some dough....

But after breathing in and out, pounding on some dough and doing some therapeutic shopping....we are left STEELE standing!

Tina was asking about some stats on the blog.  We have 5 actual followers and a lot of silent readers.  

Thank you to everyone who is following along in Tina's journey.  We appreciate all those that are STEELE standing with us.  It's interesting to see two readers from the United States and one from Poland.  ALS is bigger than our little family.  It touches many people's lives.  We want a cure!

STEELE standing....still praying!

 

What's Out Your Window?

Tina's schedule is very busy these days but we still take time every weekday morning to chat.  We talk about what is on for the day, what happened the day before and any appointments coming up.  We always want to know about a meal that might have been delivered.  Every once in awhile we might even talk about the weather.  The easiest way to do that is to just turn our device around and show what we are looking at outside our window.

Our views are all quite different.  It's kind of fun seeing the world through each other's lens and sometimes it's really hard. That's what these chats do for us....we look through the world through the eyes of each other as we walk through Tina's journey with her.

Yesterday, Tina took her new walker for a spin.  She discovered that the sidewalks are not very smooth and ended up falling.  She landed on her knees this time and thankfully didn't hurt herself too much.  I thought of this as I went out for a quick walk tonight.

Last night, an old friend, Scott Carpenter brought pizza for supper.  Tina said that it was really good.  Thanks Scott! 

Dr. Melanson's office called about the radicava medication.  Once we find out more about that we will let you know.

Tina was able to get to Hart n Hart to order a couple of "I'm STEELE Standing" shirts.  Once she gets them we will show them on the blog. If you are interested in ordering one, you can contact Hart n Hart directly.  Their information is:  111 Industrial Boulevard, Napanee, Ontario  Phone number:  613-354-9554. 

Approximate prices:

• T-shirts - $25.00
• Hats - $20.00
• Sweatshirts - $35.00
• Polos - $35.00

What's your view today?  You can look out and see snow and complain or you can see the beauty that it brings.  It might be raining.  Do you complain about the cloudy day or look for the rainbow that might come after?  I'm trying not to complain about the aches in my body as I look through Tina's eyes and see her positive attitude.  Enjoy the view you have today.  Find the beauty outside your window.

We are STEELE standing!  

Thanks for standing with us!  Keep praying!

Hey...Google!

Wednesdays are always a busy day...but who am I kidding, with Tina every day seems busy. While we were doing our morning chat Tina took a call for another appointment.  I said tell google to remember for you.  Tina said, "hey google, add to my calendar...." and there she had it!  So now with all her appointments she can add them to her own personal artificial intelligence.

Oh, can't forget to mention that Tina's neighbour brought over banana bread on Tuesday and when Tina called to thank Francis she said to let her know when they wanted more.  

Before we had talked to Tina, Janelle, the homecare angel, had been there.  Mom was there and chatted with us for a bit.  She had made a homemade chocolate pie for company.  An old friend came to visit.  Steve was actually in Carol's friend gang but we always shared our friends because our house was the hangout house.  We had a pool table, ping pong, darts and Pop Shoppe for purchase so who wouldn't want to be there.  Oh, and we had pretty cool parents too!

Steve brought gift cards from his mom, Lorraine.  She was a faithful lady in our church where we grew up and it was very thoughtful to bless Tina this way.

Tina then went for a mammogram....too much information?  We want you to understand that even the most regular, routine things are much more difficult when you are dealing with ALS.  For any woman that has had this unpleasant exam, you need to be able to undress, be put in awkward positions and be able to move your arms in very unnatural ways.  This is hard for most women but for someone with ALS I couldn't imagine.  They were really good and very understanding.  They provided Tina a chair instead of standing.  We are so thankful for people that understand and help.

After that appointment, Tina had a staff meeting.  It amazes us how she keeps busy.  Abby, Tina's manager told her about some case studies.  One of them was being done in Montreal and one in Ottawa.  

ION 363 ALS Case Study

Reldesemtiv

Thursday...."Hey, google, what's on the calendar for the day?"

• 9:00 a.m. - Janelle, the wonder woman of Homecare - shower and hair wash!
• 10:15 a.m. - chat with sisters
• 11:00 a.m. - Physiotherapist, Jennifer "doing extremely well" - a few new exercises
• 12:30 p.m. - Occupational therapist, Kathleen - found a walker that should work
• 1:30 p.m. - Nurse Intake, Amanda - oxygen 95 (we think it was 91 last time) and blood pressure 120/70 - doing good!

And today....the walker arrived.

Tina can still walk around but if the ground is uneven then she could use the support of this walker and give her the stability to keep from falling.

Donna, a friend dropped some food off through the day and then Barry and Judy (our first cousin) came and brought supper.  They didn't just drop it off.  They stayed and had supper with them and Tina loves it when this happens.  It's a double treat....food and a visit.

Another week has finished and hopefully the weekend is less busy for Tina and she can enjoy a little time away from Google!

If you are in the Napanee area and would like to become a part of the army that is helping Tina with meals, please click on the link below and you can chose your day/time and meal.  You can chose to drop off or better yet, set the table and eat with them at their house.  The meals are really appreciated.  

Meal Train 🍲

So I bought something today to hang in our bedroom and I thought I would share it with all of you.

Thank you to all those that have helped in whatever way. We have all been amazed by the outpouring of love and we especially appreciate your prayers.  💓

Hey, I see that Jennifer Lepage is following the blog.  Interesting story about Jenn...we had someone run into our house when we were living in Swift Current (should have locked the doors) and we had to call the city detachment for police help and in came Cst. Lepage (nee Steele).  I was reunited with a cousin!  👮🚓

We are all STEELE standing!!

Hey google....say thanks to everybody!!!

Up and Down

 A few days have gone by and so much happens in a short time in the life of Tina.  It's hard for me to keep up.

On the weekend, Jenn (Tina's niece/my daughter) and her daughter, Emma came to visit Tina.  They had some fun and did a manicure for Tina.

Looking good!  Even better than getting your nails is that last piece of pie from Larry Wilson.  In our Steele world, there is a saying, "Apple Pie without cheese is like a kiss without a squeeze." Tina did it right!

On Saturday, Tina went to the Salvation Army to do some work.  The ramp was a little slippery but she didn’t fall.  

Yesterday, Tina had a special visitor.  Vicki Leeming was a childhood friend.  She spent lots of time around our house growing up.  Vicki is just one of those sweet people.  She brought a chicken dinner for Tina and  even brought a cherry pie.  I'm told that everything was delicious and I'm not surprised.

These two look just like when they were teenagers.  I found out that Vicki had just gone through a serious health issue and here she was visiting Tina and blessing them with a meal.  

Today, Shelley Taylor, a friend brought in a Swiss Chalet for the family.  

So many blessings!

How is Tina really doing?  Most days she is our rock.  She can laugh, joke, plan and keep us all going.  Let's think about how you would be doing.  We think of that often and ask questions.  Tina can't straighten out her hands any more.  She can still pick up things but has to be careful because her hands are weak.  Her shoulders are tight and she can't lift her arms up past her shoulders.  Tina can no longer get dressed by herself.  She has been looking for clothing options to help when people need to dress her.  The homecare worker showers Tina everyday and she loves getting her hair scrubbed.  It's hard to believe that this is what Tina is going through.

So, today was one of those down days.  Tina had tried to contact her doctor to get a prescription for the new meds.  Last week ALS Canada had told her that she should be able to get this medication through a clinic in her home town or via home nurse.  The receptionist wouldn't let Tina talk to the doctor and even told her that the meds probably wouldn't be offered to her.  It was frustrating to us to hear and I imagine even more to Tina.  Tina will talk to ALS Canada to try and get help with this.  We are thankful for ALS Canada who offers so much support.

So hearing that Tina was having a down day was hard but that is when we need to STEELE stand for her.  We will be the Fort around her.

Tomorrow is another day!  We are STEELE Standing and we are STEELE strong.

Praying!

Thanks Casey Distefano for following the blog and for being a good friend to Tina. 💕